Are You Done Having Babies?
The ever so back and forth feeling of being "done" having babies. I thought I was so beyond done, and I mean I am, in reality. I guess I'm just more done in the sense that we are actually done and won't have anymore, but I'm not done mentally or in my heart I don't think. There are still days where I dream of think of another baby. What they'd look like, who they'd be, what another baby added to this crazy mix of our four would look like. Then I guess I have days of thinking of how long a breastfed babies for (almost 6 years without a break!) and how I have my body back, how I can leave all of the kids over night with dad, how my youngest sleeps through the night now...even if her older brothers don't. So maybe it's okay to feel done but also feel sad about being done too? I guess that sad feeling just comes to me every so often. Maybe it's because my youngest is turning 2 and this is around the time I'd be having another baby normally. Maybe it's just because I look at my kids and see how big they're getting, how much they're growing and changing, or maybe it hits me every time I step into a birth space and remember how much I love brining babies into the world myself.
So how did you know you were done having babies? Are you 100% happy and confident in that decision or are you like me and know that you're done but still sad about the decision to be done?